Stuff My Mom Says

Written by Jacqueline Newell

When I first started using my Kindle, I downloaded all of the “book of the week” books because I figured, if they’re highlighted, they must be good. Plus, they were on sale so it was an economically driven decision. That being said, I downloaded Sh*t My Dad Says, a collection of quotes and anecdotes by Justin Halpern. It got me thinking, not necessarily about what my mom would say in specific scenarios but rather, about the catch phrases my mom has.

Because I am the youngest of four children, I spend a lot of time with both of my parents. As a consequence, I have decided that I am the (self proclaimed) favorite child. Being the self proclaimed favorite child is a very tough job. I received this title with a lot of hard work… and mostly because I am the only child that still has a Maine permanent address. Perks come with this role, too. For example, my mom can solve any problem with an ice cream cone, she used to hand out “rally pops” (lollipops) at my brother’s hockey games, and she always puts me in my place in a humorous way. With that said, let me share with you some of my mom’s favorite catch phrases.

Picked his pocket! – While watching hockey games, my mom will exclaim “picked his pocket!” when one skater steals the puck off the stick of another.

Bangerang – Just like Robin Williams as Peter Pan in Hook, my mom often responds to something that she thinks is cool by shouting “bangerang!” It is often accompanied by a fist bump.

Do you ever wonder…? – To which my dad always quickly responds “no” before she finishes her sentence.

You’re wasting away – While wearing a children’s sweater I bought at Wal*Mart that has a glow in the dark rib cage on it, she added “I can see your bones!”

You betcha!  – You would think my mom is a Minnesota native with her enthusiasm.

It’s right up your alley – Whenever something even slightly resembles something we might be interested in, she is a fantastic resource and always sets us up with opportunities.

Don’t be that girl – After being bullied through school, my mom always reminds me not to be like them. Don’t be like those people who bring others down.

What’s the worst they could say? – This has become my personal mantra and I have my mom to thank for that. She always encourages me to apply for anything and everything and to ask many questions. Why? Because the worst they could say is no.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom.

Godmother, Mother, me & my grandmother

Godmother, Mother, me & my grandmother

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